Mindfulness in the Heat of Conflict: Taking STOCK

Abstract

People who study and practice well-established tools for managing conflict, even those who master them, frequently fail to use these tools when and as appropriate. Often, such failures result from certain deficiencies in awareness, which we call “The Six Obstacles": an excessively self-centered focus; strong negative emotions; automatic, habitual ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving; insensitivity to emotions (too much or too little); insufficient social skills; and inadequate focus. Mindfulness can help overcome these obstacles and improve decision-making in conflict- related situations. But mindfulness is difficult to establish and maintain, especially in proximity to conflict. To address this problem, this Article sets forth three tools of awareness - which we call STOP, STOPSi, and Taking STOCK- that can quickly establish and sustain mindfulness and foster appropriate behavior in conflict-related situations.